Leave it to Linae

I love my friends. I swear I do. I hate it when you're calling me out. You are absolutely right. The intent of this forum is to share ideas, examine our beliefs and gain new understanding through candor and reflection.

Linae's comment on my first entry really struck a nerve. Essentially what she pointed out is, I (we) want to be loved, understood. On the other hand, I (we) cover who I am, shade the truth, soften my opinions so I can be accepted. What it comes down to is I want you to love me for who I am but I'm going to give you softened version of who I am so you'll love me. Thank you for pointing it out. Let's see if I can fix that for this blog.

Today my mother went to her first mass and catholic class for adults who aren't (catholic) with my daughter and I. For the last several weeks I've been hedging. Am I investigating, going to convert, supporting my daughter, learning? Well, here it is. I sat through a boring, lengthy homily (sermon), a more boring class in a too hot room with well-meaning teachers, next to my uncomfortable mom. There was not one moment that I hoped it would be different, that I wanted to the homily to be better, the teachers to be more engaging or the room to be cooler. I loved every boring, uncomfortable minute of it. So, yes. I'm going to join the Roman Catholic church. You just can't find that kind of joy in boredom everywhere.

My daughter had a startling God moment today. The message she recieved was for me also. "I'm doing this for me. Not for anyone else." It's a critical message for all of us. We can't do anything for anyone else. It is only for me. Let's stop shading who we are so we will be loved. If we do that, it's the shading that is loved, not us.